Most people I know would enjoy be expelled from Dublin

Audrey is back to offer some advice to readers.

C'mere, styles story with World War Three. I hot russian girls see the Russkis do be livid because Simon Coveney told them one of their diplomats has to go home. most notably, I'm not attempting be funny, But most people I know so want to be expelled from Dublin. I was up there whilst old doll two weeks ago, It do be fierce busy and someone needs to have a word with them about their accent. (It's ludicrous.) thus, as with, Can you tell the Russian lad to cheer up and he'll need to be, Even if they give him to Siberia? Dowcha Donie, Blackpool, we will have embassies in Cork?

Great question. I consider you 100%, that could be bizarre really, Given your from the northside. industry experts my swotty nephew, political Paul, If he thinks we are heading for conflict. He said the only thing that can stop it now is the standard of intelligence from our security services. I said you mean the safeguards. he was quoted saying yes. I said where is a good place to buy a bomb shelter?

It's my Josh's seventh birthday next weekend and I've invited all my friends and relations to our place, So I can humiliate them my new 73,000 kitchen. My only is actually the cake I'm terrified people won't realise I spent 650 on it. the case, Here's my quandary: Would it be looked at common to put the price on the cake, as an alternative to Happy Birthday Josh xx? Alicia, Monkstown, I'd hate for people to think we were unable, some study into different kind of a way?

not. (People know we're hurting, Because My Conor only works in the fundamental Statistics Office.) i am sorry now, But paying someone to bake your kid's birthday cake is as common as a majorette's hen party in Garryvoe. You're nobody in Posh Cork these days you're bake the cake from scratch. and, Rather than educational facilities at the problem, you might need a secret ingredient called motherly love. (Look it.)

Hello old market. Spot of utilize HR at work, it turns out you're no longer allowed to wink at a woman and call her a grand girl, When you're asking her to make you a mug of coffee. (No one smiled and told me.) The upshot is I have to make a powerpoint presentation to the board, Explaining the changes my goal is to make in my dealings with the chicky babes. but, The only presentation I ever encountered was the specific place I went to school. People keep talking about this thing called Powerpoint do you think my secretary may be able to help? (She's a little cherish.) Reggie, Blackrock, I'm sexy not prejudiced, this is my motto.

Never drive through Cappoquin with the windows open. (that is certainly mine.) I asked my friend Penny on that, She's a practitioner in HR. She said you really need to change jobs. I said surely there isn't an agency out there that could tolerate his views on women. She said maybe try the Catholic school. marked by controversy.

definitely. I'm surviving in a luxury yurt just outside Dunmanway, With my exceptional man, Kai Karma (Not his real contact.) as the name indicated, The universe smiled on us this morning and blessed us with a son, gemstone Zappa (Not his real brand name.) We can't get him baptised, But my mother is deeply religious and her house in Kinsale is worth more than 2m. I hate posting on money, But I might need her help economically, Given that the market doesn't seem to be ready for my gluten free artisan cookies, designed with fairy dreams. think I should get Crystal Zappa baptised, For his well-known sake? Mermaid Skye (Not my real business name.)

gday Gobnait. (I remember you from school nice one on changing your name. ) i throw a cousin, straight-forward Brenda, she has a nun. (just imagine.) I said what does God think of non believers who get their children baptised? She claimed, He thinks it's riotous. I documented why. She said because not much funnier than a new mom dressing too sexy, Downing two plastic bottles of Prosecco and spraining her wrist in a bouncy castle. I cited, What are you dealing with? She rumoured, An Irish baptism.

Hola. I am working here in Cork for the past three months. All immediately, The Irish boys are asking me if i can the pub this Friday, towards the I look a bit like a young Penelope Cruz. They say that everyone will be there. What is stand out about the pub this Friday? Cristina, the capital and Pope's Quay, At home I am contemplated plain, But here' am like nine of out 10.

I get your identical reaction in Macroom. It's actually compulsory for every Irish person to head to the pub because it's the first time it will be open on Good Friday since 1927. though it mightn't seem like such a good Friday when Stinger from Clonmel tries to lick your ear at closing time. (there are a Stinger in every pub.).